| Copyright (C) 2005 Elena Solomon | | | | they probably have their own agenda. |
| Compared to the "real world" dating, some people | | | | 6. Giving away your phone number |
| view online dating as less safe. | | | | When you feel comfortable with the person you |
| Nothing can be further from the truth! | | | | have been emailing to, give them your contact |
| The opinion probably persists due to the fact that | | | | phone number, preferably your mobile. Do not |
| in real life we usually meet people who were | | | | give away your work number (or your work |
| introduced to us by someone we know and trust, | | | | email address), ever! After all, you do not want |
| or in a transparent situation, such as at work or | | | | someone to email your boss or phone your |
| school/university. | | | | office, in case the relationship does not work. |
| But because no one introduces you to your online | | | | 7. Meeting face to face |
| dates, this does not mean online dating is unsafe - | | | | After you have emailed one another, and talked |
| quite the opposite! | | | | on the phone a few times, it's time to meet face |
| In fact, meeting someone online is much safer | | | | to face. If people are happy to communicate with |
| than meeting someone at your local bar: you | | | | you online but don't want to use the phone or |
| cannot get hurt by sitting in front of your | | | | meet you in person, this might be due to the fact |
| computer. | | | | that they have misrepresented themselves. Real, |
| All you need to do to make online dating work for | | | | honest people that seek love and partnership |
| you is to exercise some caution. You would not | | | | don't want never-ending virtual courtship; they |
| let a stranger into your home and your private | | | | want the real thing. |
| life, without getting to know them first, would | | | | Only meet in a public place for the first date, and |
| you? Don't do it online, either. | | | | preferably, set up a time limit for the date. For |
| Here are 8 essential steps that will help you make | | | | example, you can say you only have half an hour |
| your online dating experience secure and | | | | before a business appointment; this will help if the |
| rewarding. | | | | date does not go as you hoped for. A 'coffee |
| 1. Anonymous Dating | | | | date' is a safe bet. If you are a woman, never go |
| It's a great advantage that contacts entered | | | | to unknown places; instead, suggest your own |
| through an online dating site are anonymous, so | | | | variant of a place for the meeting, where service |
| you can maintain your privacy, but there are | | | | personnel knows you, at least visually. If a man is |
| some drawbacks, too - some people might not | | | | decent, he will honor your request. |
| be what they say they are. While there are not | | | | Tell someone that you have a date with a person |
| many people like this, they do exist. Most dating | | | | you have met online; it can be your mother or a |
| sites don't screen their members. You should | | | | sibling, a person, who will not judge you. If you |
| exercise caution and common sense in your | | | | don't feel like telling anyone, make a note about |
| communication with other members. | | | | the person you are meeting and how you got to |
| 2. Overseas Contacts | | | | know him/her, and place it where this information |
| Be especially careful in communication with | | | | can be found. |
| members from other countries than your own. | | | | Have your own transport to get home from the |
| Some people might try to use your limited | | | | place of the meeting; better still, have a friend to |
| knowledge of those countries to take advantage | | | | fetch you. Never allow your date to take you |
| of you. Please be advised to never wire any | | | | home, even if something is wrong with your car. |
| finance on request of overseas members, | | | | Phone a friend or call a taxi instead. Make sure |
| whether to help in an emergency or travel | | | | you are not followed when leaving the place of |
| arrangements. If you intend to meet overseas | | | | the meeting - especially if no one has shown up. |
| members, remember to consult your immigration | | | | When you meet your date, don't jump to |
| authorities first, and choose an appropriate option. | | | | conclusions straight away. You might |
| 3. Getting to know each other | | | | unintentionally create an image in your mind, which |
| Never give your personally identifiable information | | | | is different from the real person; this is not their |
| to anyone you do not know well. Use the | | | | fault; give them a chance. It's quite common to |
| website's anonymous messaging system for the | | | | feel awkward at first; simply relax and try not to |
| first contacts. Ask many questions and listen to | | | | concentrate on the outcome: doesn't matter if |
| their answers: | | | | they like you or not, you are still enjoying the |
| · Do they answer the questions you ask? | | | | date. If you need to concentrate on something, |
| · Does their story seem credible? | | | | concentrate on having fun! If this helps, |
| · Don't they avoid certain questions, such as | | | | remember that they are also nervous and they |
| their marital situation, who they live with etc? | | | | can only hope you will like them. |
| · Aren't they too sweet and seem to agree | | | | Smile! Nothing helps to break the ice better than |
| with everything you say? | | | | friendliness and openness. Talk about something |
| Those are the red flags that should make you | | | | that you have shared in your last emails, so that |
| cautious. | | | | they feel you are indeed the same person they |
| 4. Sending photos | | | | have been talking to for a while. |
| It is the old truth that the picture is worth a | | | | But still, use caution. Have your mobile phone with |
| thousand words. Ask the people you are writing | | | | you. Don't leave your drink unattended. If you |
| to for their photos and send them yours. If they | | | | have to leave the table, order a fresh drink on |
| never ask for your photos, this is strange | | | | your return. |
| because everyone wants to know how the | | | | Pay for yourself. If you decided to never meet |
| person they are dating looks like! Don't send old | | | | this person again, do not tell them about it on the |
| photos or photos where you don't look like your | | | | date. Tell about it in an email. If the person asks |
| real self: once you meet in real life, the picture | | | | how the date was, tell them: 'Great! I will email |
| should match the person behind it, or they will feel | | | | you tonight'. It's not easy to face rejection, so |
| disappointed. But it does not mean you cannot | | | | make it as polite and nice, as you can. |
| send pictures that present you in the best way: | | | | 8. Advancing your relationship |
| send a photo of yourself with a happy smile; it's | | | | If you enjoyed the first date, keep seeing one |
| always a winner! When your dates look at your | | | | another for a while before moving further. Don't |
| photos, they try to figure out what type of | | | | progress too fast; you must really get to know |
| person you are: if you look grumpy, they will think | | | | the person before deciding to have a relationship |
| you are grumpy. If you look happy and | | | | of any kind. If the person shares with you a |
| easygoing, this, too, is what they will think of you. | | | | land-line phone number, presents a business card |
| If you do not have recent photos, ask a friend | | | | etc, those are good signs: they trust you and |
| with a digital camera to take some pictures of | | | | want to continue the relationship. It's now up to |
| you. Choose the best shots only and erase the | | | | you to decide, whether to accept their invitation |
| ones you don't like. Ask your correspondents how | | | | or not. |
| recent the photos are they sent you to avoid a | | | | Most of all - HAVE FUN, because this is what it's |
| possible disappointment. | | | | all about. Some people will not be what you are |
| 5. Giving away your email address | | | | looking for, and you cannot be right for everyone. |
| When you feel comfortable with your | | | | But if you persist, you will be doing better and |
| communication, you can give them your personal | | | | better. It takes loads of rubble to find gold. |
| email address. Register a separate email account | | | | Remember that each encounter is a learning |
| for this purpose, and only use it for your personal | | | | experience that can make you more successful. |
| correspondence. If something goes wrong in your | | | | You may be yet another person to find your soul |
| relationships, you can always close down this | | | | mate through an online dating site - just like |
| account and open a new one. Keep asking | | | | thousands of other people before you! |
| questions and discuss different things. If all your | | | | Happy dating! |
| communication seems to be going one way, then | | | | |